I am a firm believer in that it isn’t what you do; it is how you do it.
I have spent many a sleepless night worrying about my job and how it makes me seem to the outside world. I worry that I am being misinterpreted, and misrepresenting who I want to be in the world. I hate to borrow stereotypes, but models are rarely perceived as being intelligent or particularly deep. My personal experience in the industry always shows the opposite to be true; to be a success as a model at such a young age you need to be strong and smart. But it is much easier to assume the opposite – I am always disappointed by questions leveled at the bitchiness of models.
This makes me worry. I want to add to the world in some meaningful way. While I figure out what this looks like to me, it just so happens that I work as a model. Which lead me to my next realization – it is not what you do, it is how you do it. It is the intention behind your words and actions that really counts. Intention is the factor that turns a thoughtless comment from a friend into a personal attack. It turns a thief into Robin Hood. It has the ability to shape everything that you say and do, and it has helped me come to terms with my job.
I love modeling. I always have, and I make no excuses about it. I got extremely lucky in life to make this my source of income, and it has provided me with so many privileged experiences I still have to pinch myself at times. However I do my best to model with the intention of making friends with everyone (that I get along with!), being easy to work with, seeing the job for what it is, and then, using the money towards furthering my education.
It makes me sad to see girls get so caught up in the whirl of the fashion industry that they lose themselves. It is these girls that want it so badly and are willing to do anything to get “it”. Whatever the fuck “it” actually is – fame? Loads of money? Private jets? Rich husband? Usually once “it” is achieved, they realize that they aren’t actually happy. Money and fame doesn’t bring you happiness. What a cliché. Approaching life with the intention of accumulating wealth and power leads to a hollow experience if you get it, and a heart breaking experience if you don’t.
Every morning at the end of my meditation I set the intention to be honest with my world and myself. I make sure I am staying true to my values and beliefs, and I set the intention to be a source of positivity for other humans. This doesn’t mean I walk around, hands over my eyes, loudly drowning out negativity… This achieves exactly nothing. But I set the intention to acknowledge all of my emotions and to be honest with myself about my assumptions. Sometimes the action that follows is a fuck up. That’s ok, we are humans after all. But it is much easier to accept a fuck up that comes from a good place, than one that rises out of vindictiveness.
Anyway. Set the intention to be a source of happiness today, and see what comes back to you. It’s a great habit to start.